I finally understand how people with a handicap feel. If you have somehow been left out of a large portion of the history of my life, then let me tell you now that I play the French Horn. And quite well too. Anyways, I just recently had braces installed on my upper and lower teeth. And sharp metal brackets and a solid metal mouthpiece with a flab of skin vibrating between them is not the most pleasant of all experienced. Anyways, because of the physics of French Horning, erm, French Horn playing, the braces and subsequent wax layer I use to protect my lips result in my not being able to play the notes that would normally be in my higher range. That may not seem like such a handicap, until you realize just how nice it is to play high notes. There are times when I'm playing a piece with a lot of passion in it, and the horn line just goes ripping up into the statosphere, and I'm stuck on the launch pad. I get to play the low harmonics, but it's just not as fun as showing off your high, high C (French Horns will understand). So yeah, after a 2 hour rehearsal, I can hardly play a high C. Let alone anything above that.

So now I'm stuck with the problem of what to do. As far as I know, I have 3 options. I can buy some sort of brass-players mouthguard that fits over the braces, except they're only avaliable online. Second, I can continue to go through cases of wax every time I play, and get my orthodontist to pay for that. Or, I can do as my dad suggests, and squeeze hot glue onto the top to make a semi-pernament cover for my braces. I'm just not sure I like the idea of that hot gun beside my mouth....

Anyhoo, that's my probelm. And handicap. And heartache.

TTFN - Ta Ta for Now

I'm just going to post a few simple thoughts, all of which are totally unrelated.

Life is such a rollercoaster.

Humans are stupid.

^ This one's for T. ^

Shuswap lake is such a beautiful thing. I can get up at any time I like, take whatever I want for breakfast, and laze around until noon. Or, I can get up at 6, jump in the lake, and go waterskiing. Today I stayed in bed till 8, made some coffee for those who wanted it, and now I'm here at the computer typing into my blog. I'm feeling quite relaxed as I head into today, and I'm wondering what it is that I'll do. So far I'm just feeling motivated to work on my future film Waiting for Yesterday. I don't think I'll say anything about it just yet though, to keep you in suspense. Oh, here's a good joke (unrelated to WFY).

The little boy says to his grandpa, "Grandpa, can you make a sound like a frog?"

"Well I guess I could, but why do you ask?"

"Because Mommy says that when you croak, we can go to Hawaii!"

From the mouths of babes... :P

I really wish I knew how many people are reading this. I don't mind if no one's reading it, but really, it would make me feel so much better if people did. So maybe it's boring and random, but at least there's some substance here. How about this: if I write something profound, will you consider sending a link to your friends? Or maybe bookmarking this page? Well, here goes:

In nature, there is one thing that drives every animal - the will to survive. Behind that is the idea of 'survival of the fittest'. That means that in a group of say, elephants, when they are moving away from their predators (lions), some will be able to move faster than others. The slowest elephant will be the one that is killed, and therefore the entire herd is that much faster. "A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link". Now, it sounds harsh that only the strongest animals should survive, but that's exactly how natural selection works. Now if we look at humans, we'll see the opposite - when a person is close to death, we spend thousands of dollars trying to keep them alive, when really we should be letting them die. Ouch, that didn't sound so nice, did it? But really, we need to let all the sick people die so that our species can be that much stronger. Is Euthanasia on humans legal in Canada? I think it should be. Hmmmmm, this argument is so much better in person. Still, it sounds kind of profound, right?

There's this guy called Aesop. He wrote a book full of fables, and I'm going to look for that as soon as I get home in 2 days. They're short little stories that have an often applicable lesson built in. If you ever get a chance, please take a look. I might start writing a few on here, depending on if I find it or not.

That's about all I feel like writing at the moment, so again, thank you for reading, and I hope you'll visit again soon.

Graham

I was wrong. I gave up on writing a blog because it took too much time, and I just didn't have enough to write about. This isn't what I had intended to have happen when I began – I had been wanting to be one of the rarities that was a blog that lived. That idea never took off too well. But now I've had a long summer of adventures, and really the only people I can share it with are those whom I actually am able to talk to. That might just be the best way, but writing is really a good skill, and even I could do with some practice. On top of that, I'm also learning how to touch type (without the stupid 'home row' technique). Right now I'm typing this on a laptop in a van traveling from Ucluelet to Calgary (though not all in one trip). I have just left Kamloops, and while typing this, I'm looking out the window, enjoying what little scenery it has to offer as we race by at 110 kilometers per hour. So this is really a good time to muse on my digital notepad to those few individuals, like yourself, will read. I'm wondering if anyone who has read my blog has also visited Kamloops. Where are all these people in their big gas guzzling vehicles going in such a rush? This big winding strip of black pavement just encourages us to go from A to B, while skipping the A.1 and A.2 in between. There must be billions of stories flying past me at this very moment. Why has that barn just become run down? What made that person build a house so out of the way? Who lives in that little house? Maybe they aren't all that interesting, but we'll never know, will we? Unless we stop and consider what is around us, we'll never know what we've just driven by at 110 kilometers per hour. That cargo container on that train could have anything in it, but I haven't the slightest clue. It could be the clothes I'll be wearing, the food I'll be eating, or something I'll never even come in contact with. What was the life of those little Chinese men who built the railway like? Who drives the trains? God, I could ask these questions forever, and really, none of them will ever be answered – because I don't look for an answer, I just expect it to come to me when I ask it. I know myself that if I want to succeed in the film industry, or anything for that matter, I'll have to ask less questions, and pursue more answers.

Story time. I was in grade 6, and my multimedia/music teacher Mr. Bottemly decided to try doing a little thing called a 'Middle School Update' – basically a short video presentation that showed what was going on in our school. Anyways, I was intrigued by that, and I really wanted to be a part of the next one. The problem was, I was too scared to ask if I could do it, because Mr. B had mentioned that he was going to get some grade 8's to do it. Then in the parking lot of the Brentwood Co-op, I had an epiphany (I think I'm using that right :P) and realized that I'm never going to get anywhere if I don't ask for it. In the end, Mr. B let me do it, and all went well. I still have the video, but I don't think I'll be showing it to anyone too soon as it's pretty bad. So the moral of the story is – if you don't ask, why would someone ever think of asking you?

Wow, I'm really liking this again. It used to be a chore, but now it feels almost like I'm actually talking to someone – mainly you. Being away on vacation means that I don't really have a lot of people to talk to. One exception to that was just a few days ago when I went Sea Kayaking with some friends of our family. After dinner, three of us started talking out of boredom, and we hit some really deep topics. I'm talking Scuba-diving here. For example, we talked about how we might all be blind, and really all we 'see' is made up. So when I'm looking at another person, they look like what I've always considered a human to look like, but if I saw what they were seeing, I would look totally different. Or, I was able to put forward a theory to disprove time travel. I'll write it out separately:

Firstly, time travel to the future is impossible, because the future does not exist yet. What that means is that we have not been presented with the options that we will be, and have not made our decisions that those options will require; therefore the future does not exist, and will not until it happens. Second, time travel to the past cannot exist (in the form that we would interact with the past) because there has been no time in history that someone has recorded a visit from the future. So imagine that you are going to travel back to the year 1999, December 31^st at 11:55. If you went to Times Square in New York, and then stepped out of the machine, hundreds of people would see you, and millions would see you on TV, and therefore the world would know that time travel would exist. That hasn't happened though, has it? So unless in the future there is some way that travelers are concealed from the past, it never will be possible. Period.

Those are two of the many 'deep' topics we touched down on. And now I'm going to have a go at another. One of the weirdest possible emotions and feelings humans can have – love. And in particular, who will I love? I'm going to be self-centered right now and only talk about myself. I have never had a girlfriend. But as I am now going into grade 11, I'm noticing that a lot more people are in relationships, yet I still have no one to spend my time with, and give my love to. This isn't a personals ad, nor a complaint, just musings, and questions that I'm am looking for answers to. Having just spent a week and a half by the ocean, I have been washed over with a wave of romanticism. I would love to walk down Long Beach at sunset, hand in hand with someone I have deep feelings for, and just talk about whatever comes to mind, or even just take in the sounds of the ocean rolling in. Not a relationship that is sexual, just one where I can know that my feelings of love are being returned in full. The only problem with that is that pretty much every time I've heard of this happening, relationships have fallen apart. If I said I loved her, I don't think I would be able to just stop when times were rough. I want dedication, but it seems as if in today's culture, that's a pretty big requirement that lots of people aren't able to commit to. Divorce, cheating, adultery – what will it take to have just honest, pure, unassuming and total love? Is it that hard to do? I guess I wouldn't know, as I've never been in the standard love relationship. Still, in the past people would stay together for life – the idea of divorce was hardly ever brought up. Now it's happening every day – no one seems to go untouched by it. You could say that the new standard is to get married, and then divorce as soon as you get tired of each other. That's really no way to solve a problem. If it doesn't work, give up and try again? What's the point of even getting married then? I might as well just say this then – to my future girlfriend: I will do whatever possible to love you in the fullest, to be as romantic as possible, and to know when we spend too much time and when we don't spend enough. I will listen to your opinions, and treat you like you should be treated – lovingly. In return, all I ask is that you would do the same for me, and love me till we can love no more.

I hope you didn't find that corny, because that's not what it was intended to be. I want love! Agh!

There is one song by ABBA (you'll be able to download it by Saturday on the right, even though I shouldn't) that for some reason just makes me come to the point of crying. Even though it's from a woman's point of view, it really just describes how I know I'd feel if she left me. Please listen. I want to know if anyone else feels this way. Send me an e-mail. I want to know. I promise that I'll respond. I like human contact. That's about all I can say right now. I'm arriving at my destination of ShuswapLake, where I'll be staying for a few days, and then heading back to Calgary. So depending on what the weather's like, I might write another entry before then. So, thanks for reading this (or skimming it), because I really appreciate having someone actually make use of what I've written. And, as always, send me an e-mail to let me know what you think.

Graham

This is depressing - last post = May 7th. I'm starting to understand why so many blogs just die. When you write something on a regular basis, you need some kind of motivating force to keep you writing, otherwise you'll just put it off for a few days, and a few more, until you aren't writing at all. This wasn't my plan, because I had wanted to be writing something every day, or every other day. Not once a month, like I'm doing now. Anyways, you might as well just assume that this blog is dead.

Bye!

Well so much for posting every day. Sorry for anyone silly enough to actually want to read this stuff. I promise that I will never just stop writing without writing a last entry to tell you. I don't think that would be fair.

A lot has been happening since April 25th - I went to Banff for band camp, I enjoyed the great weather and the not so great weather, all that fun stuff. So it's not that I'm unmotivated to write, it's just so nice to be outside without a huge winter coat on.

I've also decided to quit doing the question and answer things, because I'm finding them kind of boring. I might put out a question here or there, but not every entry.

I was reminded today of my love for a certain gemstone. The Tigers Eye. For quite a while when I was in grade 3 or around there, I was determined to become a geologist. Therefore, I began collecting rocks. Those little stands that have boxes of gems in a souvenir store were a favourite of mine. One such gem was the Tigers eye. As you can see from the image to the right, it's a very pretty gem, with a gold/bronze colour (although it can be found in many colours). I can still remember bringing in a piece of tigers eye to school, and my well informed teacher telling me that tigers eye is said to bring luck when you squeeze it. That just totally got me going. Of all the gems in my collection, the tigers eye was the prize of it. Over time, I realized that geology wasn't really my passion, so I kind of just let the rocks fall. I still have my tigers eye though. And now it's come back to me. And I'm thinking, well, tiger's eye is such a descriptive name. Tiger's eye productions? Looked it up, and it's taken. But what about a twist? Tygers eye productions? So now I have to decide whether to give up Canadian Scouter productions for Tyger's eye productions, or to stick with what I've got. That's the dilemma I'm in. Please let me know what you think of the name.

Question time:

If a new medicine were developed that would cure arthritis, but cause a fatal reaction in 1 percent of those who took it, would you want it to be released to the public?

That's certainly a question of morals. I am going to take the standpoint that if it causes a reaction, there must be a reason, so I say find that reason, and then only let people who won't be affected take it - make it a prescribed medication. For example, if one percent of people with arthritis had a natural deficiency of a chemical in their blood, to the point that it would kill them to take the medication, then require a blood test before prescribing the medication to anyone.

Life, as usual, is stupidly busy. When do we get some time to ourselves? I can't wait for the weekend, so I can have a bit of time to myself (then again, I'll be at band camp, and there's not a lot of free time booked.

If you could spend one year in perfect happiness, but afterward would remember nothing of the experience, would you do so? If not, why not?

Well, as questions usually do, this question leads to another question. What is perfect happiness? And how could we achieve this? I'm sure that everyone has their own definition of happiness, but may not exactly know what that is. I for one, really don't know what perfect happiness is. I guess it could be life without problems or obstacles, but then life becomes dull. Truly, how enjoyable would life be if we didn't encounter a stumbling block here and there?

Back to the question, I think I would take up that experience, because the idea of happiness is appealing to me (as I'm sure it would be to anyone). But to not remember any of it would be a bit of a let down, especially if you knew that you would forget all of it at the end.

And now for a little philosophical thought. When you own a piece of land, do you own it all the way down to the centre of the earth? If so, that would mean that everyone is neighbours with everyone else in the world, and that we all have oceanside lots!

Well I guess it's about time I wrote something new. Not that there's anything new happening for me right now.

Do you believe in ghosts or evil spirits? Would you be willing to spend a night alone in a remote house that is supposedly haunted?

Well, my gut feeling is that I don't want to believe in spirits, but I know that if I let my imagination run loose, I'll be tempted to think that there are. If I had the choice, I wouldn't spend the night in a remote house, especially if I were asked to spend it alone.

Ok, I've answered the question, and now I've got something to talk about. I was attempting to set up a movie for my sister, and after waiting for a minute, I realized that the disk wouldn't read. Looking at it, I found it to be deeply scratched all over it's face. What drives a person to vandalize? I spend enough time on Wikipedia to see that there are millions of people who would just love to ruin something for another person. I suppose it's the anonymity of it all - you can vandalize, and the chances of you getting caught are really slim. But think about it - the DVD rental place will have a record of who had the video out last, and can go and check to see who scratched it up. I'm not talking about little hairline things here either. These look like sand paper or steel wool. I mean, if people feel driven to do stupid things like this, then how can we defend our race as being intellectually superior? At least the gorillas don't feel the urge to make a mess of their lives.
We, being Homo Sapiens are pretty dumb at times. Ok, maybe not all of us, but when you average it out, I don't think it's very high. Would an intelligent race develop weapons of mass destruction simply to hurt some of it's fellow beings? Then again, we do so as a fight for supremacy and land, and the grizzly bear will fight to death for the same reason. Are we equal, if not lesser than a grizzly?

I recently came across a book entitled "The book of questions", by Gregory Stock. In it, there are 217 questions about all kinds of things (mostly about life). So instead of fishing for topics everyday, I'm going to start answering these questions. Feel free to think about your answers (or even send them to me, because I would like that very much). So, here goes...

For a person you loved deeply, would you be willing to move to a distant country knowing there would be little chance of seeing your friends or family again?

Well, I've got to say, it would have to be someone pretty wonderful. I'm really quite happy here in Canada, but for love, I think I would move anywhere, within reason. If I were asked to move to a country in the middle of a civil war, or plagued by famine or something horrible, then I would really have to think hard about it. If I were asked to move to a more 'civilized' country, then I would not be as concerned. In this day of incredible technology, I'm sure I'd still be able to keep in contact with them via phone or internet. Therefore, I would have to say that I would move to another country for someone I am deeply in love with. This is obviously conditional.

There. That wasn't too hard. I think I'll keep this up. Until next time...