Stargazing

You really got me to thinking about the stars... You make it sound so amazing!

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Life is good. I'm finally seeing doors that I never knew existed.

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I saw "Burn after reading" last night, and it was really good. But there's one thing that sticks out to me. The guy Ted (Richard Jenkins) is in love with Linda (Frances McDormand), but she doesn't realize it. So Linda is constantly hunting for love, and totally failing to see that Ted is trying so hard to tell her. It's probably the saddest thing I've ever seen. And then he goes and dies for her. That's one thing that I'm really overly paranoid about. I can't stand the idea of that happening to me, because I can't even imagine how much it would hurt. Then again...no. I know it hurts, and I don't want to ever do that to another person. I'm just so scared that I might do that to someone, and I never, ever want to.

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I could probably rant about so many things right now. If I could somehow translate my falling-asleep thoughts into a text document, and transfer them over to the computer, it would be so amazing. Because there are so many things I have to say that just never get the airtime they deserve.

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Maybe what I need right now is some free time. Time to just talk to a few people and let it out. To relax and not have to say anything at all. To feel totally at peace. To not have to be preoccupied with directing my thoughts. To not worry about what others will think of me. To not be concerned about worrying that people with think I have ulterior motives, when I really don't. To just close my eyes and not have to think. To open them again and see a smile.

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I miss someone.
I want to hang out with someone.
I might like someone.
I'm happy when I'm around someone.
I laugh with someone.
I'm sort of jealous of someone I don't even know.
I want to talk to someone.
I want to hug someone.
I want to make someone happy.
I want to think about someone so much it hurts.
I want to see someone right now.
I want to "speak now" before I forever have to hold my peace.
I'm so glad to have someone as a friend.
I have so many regrets.
I wish I had made goodbye a little more special.
I can't wait for that next hello.