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That's right, post number 200!!
It's been a long time coming, but we've finally made it. And there's a distince reason that I say 'we''. What would be the point of a blog with no readers? All it would be is silent HTML using up server space. So thank you to everyone who takes the time to read through what I write on the weird schedule that I keep. It's highly relaxing really, to be able to rant at an invisible audience.
In fact, right now I am sitting at the computer, but I'm not looking at the screen. In fact, my eyes are closed, and I'm writing this all just by feel. I guess it's probably a sign that I spend too much time on the computer when I can type at a really good speed without looking at the screen OR the keyboard. I'm kinda impressed with myself actually!
*sigh*
It's been fun. Life fluctuates between happiness and sadness, excitement and boredom. But it's good, I'm quite happy with where I am. I have some of the most amazing friends I could ever hope for, and they are always there to support me when I need it (and believe me, I've needed it a lot lately).
Sometimes I wonder what I'm going to do next , because there are just so many different choices. I could pursue education in technical theatre, or I could travel, or I could live the life of a bum on the streets. Who knows where I'll be in 5 years? Who knows where I'll be tomorrow? It's very difficult to pin down even what it is that you WANT, because in order to know that, you need to know everything about youself. And not many people know it all.

That sort of reminds me of something I was reading in a book a while ago (sorry, I'm practically asleep right now, I'm just blogging for the sake of writing something). We spend billions of dollars in research in space, trying to find out everything we could possibly want to know about this crazy big amount of nothingness that surrounds us. And that's fine. And yet, we don't even know some extremely basice things about the Earth! We don't have highly detailed maps of the terrain of the ocean bottom, we don't know a fraction of all the possible life forms populating our planet, heck, we don't even know exactly how the ground we're standing on is changing. We can look up, but sometimes, it's more difficult to lookd around and down at where we are.

Is this getting random yet? Probably. Meh, I'm not even going to proof-read this post. I really just want to sleep.

I was thinking today about writing some letters to a few people. More importantly, letters to be given to those people in the (hopefully) unlikely event that something happens to me. Because for some reason, it's easier to be sincere and write what you really feel when you know people can't respond, that they will read it with the full intensity that you wrote it with. Because really, if you got a ltetter from a friend of yours who just died, you're not going to brush it off and laugh, are you? No, it's going to be a treasured possetion that you will keep forever.

That and I want my box of keep-sakes burned. And I don't want anyone reading anything in there. I am the only one who understands the full reason behind the objects in that box, and I don't want anyone spoiling that. It's very private, andyeah. You wouldn't understand.

Enough of that, time for some sleep.

Thanks again for reading!