cos[♥] = ?

Here I am, trying to study for my huge math midterm tomorrow, and I just feel like crap. It doesn't matter what I do, I am constantly lapsing into severe depression whenever I'm alone. I talk to my friends, but everything they say seems to come across as a reason for me to believe that they're going to leave me.

I'm so scared that this is going to have me end up losing my best friend. I hardly see him now because of rehearsals, and I just can't connect with him anymore. There's nothing that upsets me more. If I could just know that all it would take is for me to stop working on the shows to get things back to normal, I would. I just can't imagine losing that.

I'm so worried about this world. It's like a blanket, and the end is frayed. Someone is pulling on one of the fibers and everything is unraveling in front of me.

I think I need help. I'm so stressed out, and this hypochondria is really getting to me. Today I convinced myself that I have bipolar disorder. Sure, I might, but how can I know anymore?



I'm just spiraling down. This plane is speeding towards the ground in a huge inferno of flames. I can see the ground in front of me. I can count down the distance to the bottom; a measly 16 days. But how much longer will this plane hold out?