D:/My Documents/A letter.doc

I wrote a letter a few months back, and I only just found it again. I don't even remember writing it which is the weird part, it seems like something I might remember putting time and effort into.

What it's done is make life more complicated. Lately I've allowed myself to succumb to the bliss of ignorance, and I'm realizing what a mess it's causing. If only you knew.

I thought I had it all figured out, that all I had to do was wait and that when the time finally came, it would be perfect. But the thing about waiting for something to happen, is that time passes before it does. And when time passes, things change.

I feel like I'm looking at two polar opposites. So many different aspects to each scenario, and yet each with so many attractive qualities. Consequences too.

I find myself drifting back and forth, every minute thinking something different, questioning my previous decisions and trying to plan for the things that I have no idea will happen. I want a simple answer, I don't want to have to think about things, it shouldn't have to be multiple choice.

When I read that letter, it pulled me back to a place I had been for a long time, a letter that said in such a concrete manner exactly what I was feeling. There's no denying that it states exactly how I was feeling then, but what about now? I look at all those things I said, and wonder, is it still true?

I don't know where I should take things, and I constantly worry that I'm just going to screw it all up and end up right back where I started. I just want the simplicity of a child, to only have to worry if the tooth-fairy will come tonight, or if I mixed enough finger paints to finish my masterpiece.

I want this. I just hate the fog.
Damned fog...