Re-read

I'm just a post fanatic tonight...

So, I was re-reading a few blogs tonight, going way back a few months to see what has changed, and where we've all been. Honestly, it's quite amazing. I highly recommend it.

Why I chose the difficult route full of drama and confusion, love and anger, I'll never know. I'm often finding myself wishing I had just been happy with what I had, rather than attempting to get more out of it. But that's the problem isn't it? It's so easy to criticize the mistakes of your past than it is to avoid them in the first place. If I were given the choice though, I really don't know which one I would go with.
To never have had to deal with all the pain and frustration I've been living with for the past few weeks would be great. I mean, I can't go a day without thinking about it. I've written pages and pages of letters, poems, and songs, all trying to soothe myself in some way, to make it all better. And maybe it has, because now I'm starting to feel better about things, to see hope. It's a whole lot better than the dark pit I was in just a few days ago...
But then, what if I had never experienced the great joy that I did? To lose the greatest experience of my life just because it didn't end up lasting as long as I wanted it to? I still cry (yes, cry) when I read my descriptions of our times together that I wrote down, of our conversations, and when I think about all the wonderful times we had. So even if that segment is over, I'm not about to let the theatre shut down. The movie is still playing, and I'm not going to let it stop easily. It was the single greatest time of my life, and I really hope you know that. No one else has ever done that for me. Can I say thank you again?

To all my friends. It is because of you that I am who I am. You shape me, mold me, and teach me. I think I can safely say that without you all, I wouldn't be writing in this blog, taking my pictures, or walking this earth. There are times when the path becomes so dark that I can't navigate on my own. So to have my friends there beside me, walking along with me...that is the greatest thing I could ever ask for. To have a shoulder to cry on, a person to rant to, someone to text when needed, people to explore with; I couldn't ask for anything more. Thank you for being my foundation.